Post by Glitch on Jun 7, 2017 13:36:06 GMT -5
ITS YA BOI GUZMA!
I MEAN GLITCH.
AND GIRL.
Ah I fked it up. Well, I'm Glitch, but that's a weird thing to introduce myself as and my parents never taught me real good Internet safety, so I'm gonna introduce myself as Tia. Cutey, right? Well I'm not. I am 6ft of the raunchiest, foulest mouthed, mean-streaked people to ever GRACE YOU WITH MY PRESENCE.
Okay, maybe I'm not that bad. I'm pretty close though! At least I'm sure that's what my nasty mother in law would tell you. I'll likely leave you wondering each day, "Wow who pissed in her cornflakes this morning?" protip it was me. I probably pissed in my own cornflakes.
I'm a 22 year old edgelord who made the fatal decision to move from her happy little home in Virginia to literally Nowhere, Pennsylvania. You know why? Men. Because sometimes I take happy little friends with benefits and I turn it into something else, so now he has to tolerate me forever. His name is Steven and he's sort of like owning a puppy that gets off on making your life hard. Speaking of puppies, I have none. What I do have is three bearded dragons (Atticus, my profile picture and literally perfect, Red, a fking freak, and Barnabas, perpetually trying to get sum tail), three cats (Cleo, also a freak, Zelda, a prissy Princess, and Link, my child, thinks he is dog, cannot not headbang like a metal dude when he drinks, possibly dropped on head, very stupid but also smart enough to learn dog-tricks and walk on a leash), a corn snake (Archduke "Duke" Franz Ferdinand of Austria, a very mean danger noodle), and a home security system (Pippa, a Brazilian Salmon Pink Birdeater Tarantula).
Monday to Friday, 7:30 to 4, you'll notice I'm around. A lot. That's because I'm a pediatric dental crown technician. Aka I have a garbage desk job where I thankfully get paid above minimum wage to carve fake baby teeth all day that the brats will eventually lose anyway, while my bitc- I mean boss berates me and tells me I'm scum. Jokes on her though, I already knew that, hah! What she doesn't know is that I started reading Warriors when I was ten, started role playing shortly after that (12 years) and then I digivolved into furry trash. I draw (furry trash), I cook (I made Steve fat, I swear the boy had never seen real food until I arrived), I bake (I made myself fat), and I write, when I can.
My humor is dirty, dark, and dry. I'm sarcastic, passive aggressive, my jokes are not pc. I am a trash mammal.
I wrote this instead of carving. Come at me Ruth.
I MEAN GLITCH.
AND GIRL.
Ah I fked it up. Well, I'm Glitch, but that's a weird thing to introduce myself as and my parents never taught me real good Internet safety, so I'm gonna introduce myself as Tia. Cutey, right? Well I'm not. I am 6ft of the raunchiest, foulest mouthed, mean-streaked people to ever GRACE YOU WITH MY PRESENCE.
Okay, maybe I'm not that bad. I'm pretty close though! At least I'm sure that's what my nasty mother in law would tell you. I'll likely leave you wondering each day, "Wow who pissed in her cornflakes this morning?" protip it was me. I probably pissed in my own cornflakes.
I'm a 22 year old edgelord who made the fatal decision to move from her happy little home in Virginia to literally Nowhere, Pennsylvania. You know why? Men. Because sometimes I take happy little friends with benefits and I turn it into something else, so now he has to tolerate me forever. His name is Steven and he's sort of like owning a puppy that gets off on making your life hard. Speaking of puppies, I have none. What I do have is three bearded dragons (Atticus, my profile picture and literally perfect, Red, a fking freak, and Barnabas, perpetually trying to get sum tail), three cats (Cleo, also a freak, Zelda, a prissy Princess, and Link, my child, thinks he is dog, cannot not headbang like a metal dude when he drinks, possibly dropped on head, very stupid but also smart enough to learn dog-tricks and walk on a leash), a corn snake (Archduke "Duke" Franz Ferdinand of Austria, a very mean danger noodle), and a home security system (Pippa, a Brazilian Salmon Pink Birdeater Tarantula).
Monday to Friday, 7:30 to 4, you'll notice I'm around. A lot. That's because I'm a pediatric dental crown technician. Aka I have a garbage desk job where I thankfully get paid above minimum wage to carve fake baby teeth all day that the brats will eventually lose anyway, while my bitc- I mean boss berates me and tells me I'm scum. Jokes on her though, I already knew that, hah! What she doesn't know is that I started reading Warriors when I was ten, started role playing shortly after that (12 years) and then I digivolved into furry trash. I draw (furry trash), I cook (I made Steve fat, I swear the boy had never seen real food until I arrived), I bake (I made myself fat), and I write, when I can.
My humor is dirty, dark, and dry. I'm sarcastic, passive aggressive, my jokes are not pc. I am a trash mammal.
I wrote this instead of carving. Come at me Ruth.
